Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Thanksgiving from my soap box

This is a mushy post to say how totally, incredibly, and completely in love I am with my little coyote. So maybe this should be a thanksgiving post. I am boundlessly thankful to be a mother, and to have the opportunity to experience such limitless joy. Sometimes I let the day-to-day distract me from the miracle that is motherhood, but lately I've been trying to live more in the moment, especially those moments that catch my breath and make me feel like my heart could just explode. It's amazing how many of those there are when you pay attention, rather than just go through the motions.

I am convinced that women have the better deal in this life. Sure, it's a man's world. They make more money, get better promotions, work half as hard for twice the recognition, and all the rest (jab jab!). But in the things that matter on a deeper level, women have the true advantage. There's the spiritual compensation of love that women have the capacity to receive in quantities I believe well surpass that of men. It is our nature to love, and the love a mother has for her child is unlike any other. It is more than fair payment for the work required to raise and nurture that child, if you let it be. It's a labor of love, which means it's paid with the highest currency available.

Of course, I'm not blind to the reality that this is a mortal world, with mortal needs. Food, shelter and clothing aren't optional (well, maybe clothing is, if you're one of THOSE), and women have as much right as men to expect opportunity and compensation with which to provide those things for themselves and their families. Especially in a country that has some 12 million single mothers. You can't pay the rent with love, and you can't put it on the dinner table for the kids. And that's the beauty of the women's movement, which has given us more choices, if not entirely equal ones... yet. Had to put that in, just to be sure no one could misconstrue my rambling comments as some sort of statement against women's rights. Not that anyone who knows me could possibly make that mistake.

This is all really just a reminder to myself to focus on the important things, and to not allow resentment or insecurity steal the joy and sense of accomplishment from my role as the most important person in the life of my little girl. I'm as guilty as anyone of taking things for granted, and that "grass is always greener" thing still crops up occassionally. I do miss the "working world" at times, but I have no doubt I'd miss the time with my little coyote tons more if I weren't one of the lucky mothers able and willing to be a stay-at-home mom.

At least during these early years. As soon as she starts school, I'm getting the heck outta this house!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


Well, Halloween has come and gone. When I was a kid it was always a really big deal to make our costumes, and I enjoyed putting together a fairy princess costume for M this year. We took her to a little Halloween thing downtown on Saturday, where the downtown businesses set up booths and the kids were able to trick-or-treat there. She was either overwhelmed, or underwhelmed, as she mostly just seemed daze. She did enjoy seeing a few dogs walking around on leashes, but the costumes and kids didn't really phase her.

We didn't take her trick-or-treating on Halloween, but she wore her costume and had fun seeing all the kids come to our door. Our new house gets a much better turn out, and we ran out of candy long before we ran out of trick-or-treaters. We let her have a little bit of candy, but she's oblivious to the fact that we ate or gave away most of it. I bet it won't be so easy next year.